131211

i realise that when i zombie-state a module, i will come up with more new ideas for the other modules i am not in zombie state for. and these are ideas that i don't detest. it is amazing that i am not hating what i am coming up with. i have no regrets for zombie-ing modules video, photo and writing. they are useless. or rather, i am useless at them. i can find no inspiration for them at all after 2 months. so i have given up on them. zombie-state is very useful here because zombie-state is called zombie state because a)you just do whatever is required and don't think further like a brainless zombie b)you are immune to all harsh criticisms, like a true living undead. when my video professor (who i dislike the most) shows a look of frustration upon looking at my work. for some twisted reason, i feel extremely pleased inside. its the pleasure of seeing the person you dislike in agony. i think my soul has become very ugly. like how i sometimes wish my siblings or best friends can never find their soulmate so that we can all live together and grow old together. and be each other's most important person until the day we die.

okay, i shall not disclose any more of my twisted thoughts here. please don't hate me. i still wish for all of you to be happy. yes i do. really.


this tune is very nice. it captures the 雨过天晴 feel very well. not dramatic, very peaceful, like a breeze passing through a wide plain or rice fields. i am not trying to be poetic here, it is really what it sounds like.

also this is the most recent op to eat my brain

one of the lines go: the children are like a mushroom cloud in the sky. when i watch this opening sequence, i think: ah this is what the world infested with humanity is like. i want to laugh with them at our sad existence and our stupidity and idiocy.

i should terminate this post before i really scare everyone away. i really think the cause of this is my failure to defeat cynthia. frustration building here. they really should sell max revives in the pokecentres.

oh let me end off with this. one night i dreamt that i was in the backseat of a 9-seater car/limo thing. next to me there was baojia and kenghoe and kerina. there was a space of at least 2 people in between each of us. kerina said she hated what she was studying. and kenghoe said: excuse me for having the face of a comma.

10.46pm

121211

i do not like typing the date. it reminds me of how fast time is flying. it also reminds me of my mortality. i don't want to die without achieving anything. yes i want the world to end. but i don't want the world to continue when i die. this is the arrogance of man.

i have finished translating my stupid story about a human devouring town. it is full of shit. but i don't care because i am on zombie mode for this module. i also don't like the tutor. she likes to blab on about her own stories (yes she is a real published writer) and how wonderful she finds them and how she goes through her creative process. i usually like to listen to how creators find inspiration for their work and how they go about developing it. i may hate them in a loving manner for being geniuses (oda). but this teacher is the very 虚伪 type. she believes she writes excellent stories and that people who don't appreciate it are too uncultured to do so. everytime she critics our stories, i get the feeling she doesn't care about it at all. because in her mind, she is the best and no one can be better than her except the literary greats. i don't know if i'm imagining all these because so far she has not said or done anything to reveal that. but well, i like to live in my depressed little world where humanity is evil.

speaking of evil humanity, i am sad there are only so few people i can recommend ito junji to. it usually goes like this:
me: omg this story! it's so screwed up! go read it!
other person: but...but i don't like horror.
me: oh.D-:

and i can't even press them to go give it a shot. because i don't want to be responsible for any mental traumas it may cause them. it's not like recommending 少女 or 少年 or slice of life or adventure or moe moe or bl. with all these mentioned genres, i can press the person to read it. with "persuasive" statements like "this one is different!" or "it will make an impact on you!" or "it's very interesting!" even though ito junji usually fulfills all three statements, when the person cannot take horror there is really nothing much i can do except ask them to go read earth bound, the only story without any horrific images. i find it terrible i cannot tell people about how funny soiichi's wife and kid are (who are people eaters by the way), or how amusing i find intersection pretty boy and how he goes around making girls stab penknives in their throat, or just the whole of spiral in general, or the one with the people being splattered into pancakes. all these weirdly humorous happenings and i have no one to share it with. it's not like i don't think they will understand the humour in it. it's more like they don't want to be haunted by his horrific images and are thus unable to even go read a page of it. and here i can't even paste images of ito junji's mangas because well, you know. mental traumas and responsibility.

i see many status updates on fb going "5 days till home!" or "miss you guys see you soon!" or "packing up and home soon!". i feel like shooting them. KEEP YOUR JOY TO YOURSELF. sad depressed little soul in countryside here not pleased. even though i still wouldn't go home even if i were swimming in money during winter break. it still irks me a little to see people happy. come on! where are you depressed updates? you know, those lovesick ones, or those about school killing you? yeah those will do. i am a sad little person who doesn't like to see happiness. i think i may be transforming into a grinch or something. it must be because i was defeated by cynthia twice already.

anyway to end off, here are some amazingly useful tips to survive in a temperate country in winter WITHOUT heater and WITHOUT falling sick. written by amazing choo who is once again going to embark on an endurance test against the cold:

#1: eat more. please don't diet. nobody bloody diets in winter. winter is eat all you want season. pack up those fats. they will come in useful.
#2: hot drinks are key to not dying. milo, tea or ginger soup. anything you drink warm it up first. including milk. it warms your whole body up. it really does.
#3: take long hot showers. the heat will remain with you for at least an hour later on. yes. it is that amazing. trust me.
#4: drape blankets over your bedsheet. bedsheets are too thin and flimsy. if you have extra blankets, sleep on them and under them (ie be sandwiched between blankets). this is so you don't feel like dying for the first 10 minutes you lie down on your cold bed to go to sleep.
#5: what heating packs? heating packs are the most useless inventions ever. use a hot water bottle. or hold your mug containing hot drink in it.
#6: wear long johns all the time. especially for your legs. so you don't feel like jumping out of your skin every morning when you change into jeans.
#7: exercise. people this is key. don't give me bs about how the weather is too cold for you to go out and do some sport. doing sport warms your body up anyway so you won't be cold by the time you're done. if you really don't want to do it outside, do it indoors. there are many videos on youtube about doing indoor exercises.
#8: make sure your shoes don't have holes. there really isn't a need for boots. i mean sure they can make it warmer but sneakers really do fine too. but your shoes cannot have holes on the soles. you will die when it starts snowing.
#9: close your shutters if there is no sun. the only purpose of the window is to let your house have free heating when the sun is strong. if there is no sun, close those damn shutters if not you will feel like your room 漏风.
#10: this is the most important point of all. listen carefully. the trick to not freezing in a room without heater is ... to not bloody stay in the bloody room. get out of your bloody house and leech on the heaters in other places. school, library, supermarts, friend's house. all of these places are excellent for you to stay warm without feeling like you're burning a hole in your pocket. and nobody can say you are not taking proper care of yourself and neglecting your health, because well, you are not.

i think winter this year is also less cold than last year. i get an average temperature of 6-8 degrees. as compared to last year's -2 + snow.

10.32pm

101211

i almost hyperventilated when i typed the date. TENTH OF DECEMBER. WHAT THE F. TIME Y U FLY SO FAST. i haven't even completed my story for tongli competition yet. i really almost had a cardiac arrest when i checked the date. like my chest felt very tight as if something is squeezing my heart tightly in a fist.

for the first time, this is not going to start off as a 宅 post. it may descend into one. but my main aim today is to complain.

why do i have to write everything twice? please tell me. why am i not godlike in french so i can just write everything once and not having to write once in english and then translate the whole chunk into french? for the assignment for my writing module, we all have to write a piece of fiction. each week, we will be given a random image or word to be used as a tool to develop the story, like we have to incorporate at least one element of it into our text. it does not help that every week, i am given some ultra weird image/word. my first week, i got the beginning of kafka's the prcocess. that passage describes how this dude called Joseph K was arrested one morning for no reason. my second week, i got a photo taken from the interior of an abandoned house with shattered windows. my third week i got the freaking carcass of a goat. my fourth week i got the photo of a fat asian woman who looks like a mamasan lying naked on what i presume is the table in a room. my fifth week i got the word cobblestone. seriously, WHAT THE F. how are these elements supposed to even "help" me to get a clear idea of where my story is going? so every week, i did what i do best. don't think too much and just dump everything in and try to make everything as short as possible. and this has resulted in a story that my professor calls a "nightmarish world". i think she thinks i am insane. well because every week i make it as short as possible, this has resulted in missing links all over the place. and now that i have rewritten it, it is 1914 words. and now, i have to translate them all to french. 1914. one thousand nine hundred and fourteen. mille neuf cent quatorze. that is a hell lot of work. that is meaningless. i have to waste time translating things back and forth. why please tell me why am i doomed to such a fate. it also does not help that my knowledge of grammar for the past stops at imparfait, passé composé when the french have what feels like 10 tenses to talk about the past. which leads to me currently butchering french grammar like a boss. i have better things to do, seriously. like defeating cynthia. this assignment is also due next week.

11.55pm

041211

dear google, please tell me why, when i search for leorio, you give me this?


why google why?
9.07pm

011211

today i found out one of my classmates watches gintama. you know how rare is that? someone from lv-land watching gintama! gintama that sometimes i don't fully understand because of its cultural references and here is someone who is half the globe away from asia watching it. i was so amazed and so excited. i think he realised that because he said only watched the anime and didn't read the manga so as not to get my hopes up too high. but that didn't do anything as i am also from the 动画党. so i excitedly asked him if he watched everything. and he said no, he only watched until... guess where? he said he only watched until where the "duck-thing" revealed itself to be a human under the costume. that is... the...pet competition episode. that is...light years away. he hasn't even met takasugi yet. not even sa-chan. my excitement died down in an instant. he then proceeded to say he watched it only because he wanted to find out more about samurais. and i told him: this show is not at all about samurais. and he said: no it isn't. not at all. haha -__-;

i miss my korean friend who at least watched to episode 50.

11.24pm

261111

i love japan and it's politeness and efficiency! a week ago i went online to buy screentone. because i am going to descend into screentone hell again this coming january and my previous useful tones have been used up in previous screentone hell. all the useful ones anyway. all the useless shoujo ones that people give me remain intact in full sheets i don't know what to do with them. so chip, if you are contemplating entering shoujo manga competitions, please tell me, i'll send them all to you. back to buying screentone. i went to deleter's website because stupid i-c screen doesn't ship outside of japan and bought like 2 types of screen tone. then the confirmation email came to tell me i can now track my parcel on the japan post office website. so i proceeded to do that and then the website comes and tell me no parcel matched the tracking id provided.

okay. that is alright. but just to confirm, i sent an email to ms. ichinose who is the person from deleter who sent me the tracking id. and being so used to french service, i totally expected her to reply me 3 days later or something. i sent it in the afternoon and by the next day morning, she has replied me. and her email IS SO POLITE. she kept apologizing and saying that maybe it's because the day before was a holiday in japan that's why they didn't upload the status yet. and she said she will check with the post office again and get back to me. and apologized again for making me worried (which i totally was not. if i were worried over something like that i would have gone insane from the admin procedures i have to deal with in france). yesterday she just sent me an email to say that she has helped me check the status and that it is up on the website already. and she apologised again. i was so touched. NEVER HAS SOMEONE APOLOGISED TO ME FOR CAUSING ME INCONVENIENCE. in lv-land, everyone is like huh, inconvenient to you? deal with it, everyone is facing the same inconvenience. and everyone shows the i-am-not-working-for-you-i-am-working-for-myself attitude. which i understand, and i don't disapprove of. but i feel SO TOUCHED when a service personnel does his/her job all the way to the end. IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE RECEIVED SERVICE LIKE THAT. japan, i really like you. even though some people may think you guys are too restrained and how that is not healthy and think that you are very picky and anal about small things like social conduct and customs and rituals. i think people who think that are full of bullshit. as expected of the land which gave birth to the samurai, they really hold to the code of bushido and the 礼 of it. i really respect you for it, 武士之国！

8.36pm

181111

"this post is turning into an otaku post. oh my. i better stop it soon else i turn into one of those freaky gals from my ex-class ("CHINA CHINA. I LIKE CHINA AND *insert country name*" or "light light! mello and and near 4eva!") "
said the me 2 years ago.

"i want to marry takasugi." says the me now.

oh how time flies. i am just two steps away from turning into those people i was complaining about then. fanfics and bl. i hope i am never bored enough to go and check these 2 aspects out.

8.58pm

161111

there has been so many times where i was feeling very down ever since i came here. whether it is due to loneliness or dissatisfaction with myself. and everytime i would think to myself, if only i could explode to somebody and had my dear friends around to cheer me up or at least just be around. but when i get home,i get caught up in eyeshield reading. and then i forget what it was that i was so upset about and am too lazy to actually try to remember. i don't know what is this lousy slacking attitude of mine.

and i finished eyeshield. the ending, wasn't great. but it wasn't that lousy either. at least it was properly finished. and well, it doesn't matter if in the end the deimon founders 3 went to different universities (saikyoudai is a bloody BUG team) or if seina didn't join nfl. it was still an okay ending. everything was tied up properly. (except hiruma's father. the mystery shadow person. even more mysterious than the mystery shadow killer in kindaichi) my favourite character is always sena. even though in the america vs japan match he didn't do anything. even though he is a little wimp. he is still no pushover. and sena became, such a handsome dude in the panel of the last chapter! even though we all agree that enma university is more or less screwed because of their terribly fail team (with only idiots except unsui who anyway isn't that smart either), it is still the team i will root for because it has SENA! and KURITA! omg. i like kurita too. number three favourite.

i think my favourite line in the whole series has to be from sakuraba, when he was talking to sena on the hotel balcony. where he was asking the question that i'm sure we all ask ourselves. how can an average guy rival a genius of effort? what should an average man from birth do...?! and then he said the answer to this question will only be seen by "a man that kept struggling until the end". this line, made me feel so touched. and makes me not want to commit suicide (more things from stopping my suicidal thoughts other than lack of guts and fear of pain). too bad sakuraba lost his wimpy appeal after he cut his hair and became a man. oh and also second favourite line, coming from demon quarterback hiruma:

enough of the stinky pre-cum.

and he said that to mohawk man musashi. it was a very horrifying and shocking moment. i do not understand how musashi was not horrified by it.

i notice how both my favourite lines and favourite panels don't even feature sena. well, thank you eyeshield for being so motivating. i don't regret having read you even though you were a little draggy at the end and focused too much on stupid characters like takami, yamato and hawk taka and also the most irritating of the lot it-is-sad mr don.

10.57pm

141111

this is my favourite panel in eyeshield21:


when mizumachi says he likes high places and being at the top. it is not exactly a touching panel. but it is such an amazing panel. seeing the night scene from so high up and saying things that reveal a character's ambition and zeal for sport. i love this panel so much. as much as this one:

where sena shows his love for american football and his keep-on-trying spirit.
and this one is the most sad panel:

T________________T

sports manga always have the most memorable panels. just look at slamdunk. look at sakuragi's "i love it very much. this time i'm not lying.":

or mitsui's "i want to play basketball":

or that hi-five between the 2 biggest kids of shohoku at the end:


all these panels make me feel like running outside to play sports. and i am a little sad i am born without any 运动细胞 and the only sports i can do are sports that test my endurance, like jogging. that is all. i wonder what life would be like if i could play once in a sports game in a team, wearing a uniform (not including those inter-class or within school games because those are only for fun and don't have big things like school pride at stake and love for the sport and determination to win.) i wonder if everyone who played sports in dhs was as hotblooded as this. and did they love the sport as much as sena or sakuragi, did they have ambitions as big as akagi or hiruma or was the sport always part of their life like rukawa or kurita. i would be so disappointed if everyone of them though: this is just a cca that makes me popular.

8.22pm

021111
this blogskin. is to show my love for dear boyband super junior.

i was planning to start on my new story idea today. and guess what? i got distracted by eyeshield 21. AGAIN. i spent my whole free afternoon (earned from cancelled classes) reading deimon devil bats VS shinryuuji nagas. the only way i can describe this manga is a 害人不浅的东西. i remember when chip was whining to me about how she read it until 3 am the day before our hike at lamma island, i scoffed. just how good was it that she can read it up to 3 am? and at that time, i was a little skeptical with regards to miss chip's recommendations. because just prior to that day, she was going on about how 好想告诉你 is such a refreshing story with refreshing characters and 纯纯的爱. and for that series, i gave up after 4 pages. i think i never would have started on eyeshield if not for dear typhoon 8 which made me stick around hongkong airport for a longer period of time than expected. and then, from the panel with sena's trembling legs while telling hiruma he wanted to win against shin, i couldn't stop. i am addicted to this series. freaking addicted. everyday i must get my daily dosage of it. if not i will die. i must see how sena perform his devil bat ghost. i must see how monta screams about catching the ball. i must see how kurita shouts funuraba. i must see komusubi and his power-go talk. i must see the HUH-HUH brothers and their HUH HUH?!! i must see hiruma and his firing of guns on the field. i must see agon calling everybody trash. i must see them if not i will feel sad and this mangaka's style. i officially name it my favourite style. he has overtaken oda's style in my heart. (although oda still remains my most hated mangaka) WHY! WHY IS THIS SERIES SO WELL-DRAWN!

you will also never guess what it is about. eyeshield 21, is, about, bloody, AMERICAN FOOTBALL ok. AMERICAN FOOTBALL!!! a sport i have absolutely no interest in. if you're talking about basketball, soccer, volleyball, badminton, baseball/softball, swimming or even floorball or tennis, i actually have an interest of at least more than 0% in all of them. but american football is...no. the only time i come across it is from movies about teenage bitching in high school where all the bullies come from the football team. i don't even know the rules of the game. but eyeshield 21 is just too captivating. all the characters are so lively and intriguing! and this manga is about guess what, my favourite theme: normal people who work hard to catch up to the extrordinary. (on a side note, my other favourite theme is darkness and despair of the worst kind) team spirit is of course important, but i think team spirit is actually shown better in one piece. eyeshield really makes me feel that even someone like me can achieve great things if i try (which i am not doing).

as someone with main-character-syndrome, my favourite is of course dear trembling legs sena. followed by there-should-be-22-of-me-agon.

look at his face. he is calling you trash. oh agon. you make me smile.

i was actually planning on a whiny, emotional, complainy and depressive post. but i got too carried away talking about dear eyeshield that i completely lost the drive to be depressive. it probably had something to do about how i am always being dealt with the hard card in life. but that will be a story for another day. one where i'm not actually too distracted by eyeshield.


hiruma says "YA-HA!"


more agon! who has god-speed-impulse that can CRUSH you. and unsui who has to deal with the crap his brother pulls all the time since birth.

11.35pm